As I move about in the world observing and listening to what people are talking about these days, I am once again amazed by the power of beliefs and the difference of the impact between beliefs that are love based and beliefs that are fear based. It seems the media is committed to making sure you know how bad things are…over and over again. With repetition people start believing it is true. How about you?

Today I want to remind you of your strength, resourcefulness, courage, the power of your choice and your ability to learn and grow. I believe in you.

Remember all the fearful messages about what would happen when we shifted to the new millennium? We were told computers would shut down, no electricity, there would be riots and break-ins because alarms wouldn’t work, we would be vulnerable to attack and there would be no food on the shelves in markets, just to name a few. What happened…nothing. And yet millions of people wasted precious moments anticipating that something bad would happen which made it real for them until the clock ticked to 12:00 a.m., 2000.

What is the difference that makes the difference?

The work at Wings has rocked my world again and again in a powerful, positive and profound way. When I changed my mind, I changed my world is how I describe this transformation. I want to share five of the most significant shifts in consciousness that have helped me practice staying awake, being resourceful and proactive. My hope is, they will support you in remembering how powerful you are in each moment to create the world you want to live in…now.

Important reminder: These patterns are not about resisting your fear or anybody else’s…because resistance breeds more resistance. Pretending you are not afraid just makes that little voice in your head yell louder! Rather, these beliefs or presuppositions are actually based in acceptance that fear is a choice and there are other options that serve you better.

Another important piece of information…Remember when you were told that the brain doesn’t change? That you are born with a certain number of brain cells and the only thing you could do is kill them by using alcohol and drugs? Well, welcome to the world of research and discovery. Our brain structure changes responding to new thinking, feeling and experience. Neuroplasticity is a new field of science that explores this. Here is a quote that describes what happens.

“According to the theory of neuroplasticity, thinking, learning, and acting actually change both the brain’s physical structure, or anatomy, and functional organization, or physiology from top to bottom. Neuroscientists are presently engaged in a reconciliation of critical period studies demonstrating the immutability of the brain after development with the new findings on neuroplasticity which reveal the mutability of both structural and functional aspects. A substantial paradigm shift is now under way: Canadian psychiatrist Norman Doidge has in fact stated that neuroplasticity is “one of the most extraordinary discoveries of the twentieth century.”
from Wikipedia

So I am not kidding when I said, When I changed my mind, I changed my world!

Five significant shifts in consciousness that assist me to stay awake.

1. Moving from victim to accountable.
When I came into the Personal Effectiveness Seminar I believed that I was doing everything I could to make my marriage, family and life work, and I was working very hard. I was resentful with a capital R! I blamed my husband for my feelings of dissatisfaction and loneliness. I was certain he was the main reason our marriage was not working. I wanted him to change so my life would get better. I realized with some horror during PES that I saw myself as the victim of my husband.
I will always remember the freedom I felt the moment I realized that my choices were my own, that my choices had gotten me right where I was and because they were all mine…I could change them! I was the one I had been waiting for all this time. I could choose based on what I wanted instead of pleasing others. In taking ownership of my choices, being accountable, I became thoughtful about my deepest values and how to live them moment to moment. Light bulbs were going off with great regularity illuminating how much of myself I had given away by being dependent on others and seeking approval by saying “Yes” when I wanted to say “No.”
Becoming accountable means the end of blame and fault finding. It means the beginning of, I believe, the most profound spiritual path.

2. It’s about me.
Learning that whatever is going on inside of me in any given moment, feelings, thoughts, desires and actions, are about me was and still is profound and again freeing.
I am the one who decides what things mean to me and how I respond to that meaning is my creation. My assumptions, interpretations, judgments and beliefs are all made up by me and I was acting as if I was right about it all. So that’s where my loneliness, emptiness, and resentment came from…my own belief system.
What I am thinking and feeling in any moment is my greatest teacher, because they reveal my belief system. Instead of reacting unconsciously, now I can ask myself, “What am I thinking right now that is causing me to feel or act this way? If it is happening inside of me, it is about me. If it’s happening inside of you, it’s about you. This is the end of “You make me…”

3. All thoughts and emotions come from one of two sources fear or love.
When I first read this statement in A Course in Miracles, I sat there knowing I was staring at the truth. It made complete sense to me.
Fear is the thought that resists, contracts, reacts, tightens, shuts down, grasps, dominates, attacks, makes wrong and blames. Love is the thought that accepts, expands, relaxes, engages, collaborates, learns, accepts and is accountable. Fear says, “This is the way it is.” Love says, “There are other ways of looking at this…let’s look together.”
Using this premise I can locate where I am in any moment. If I am tightening up, I ask myself, “What am I afraid of?” and then I explore my interpretations of what’s going on. With that insight I can make a choice that serves me better.

4. We do not describe the world we see, but we see the world we describe.

(from Synchronicity: the Path of Leadership by Joseph Jaworski)

Say this to yourself a few times.
Now this gets really interesting and is based on quantum thought. Here is the power of language and beliefs:
“Our language and our nervous system combine to constantly construct our environment. We can only see what we talk about, because we are speaking blind, beyond language.
Language is like another set of eyes and hands for the nervous system, through which we coordinate actions with others. We exist in language. It is by languaging and recurrent actions or human practices that we create meaning together…and when we describe it, we create distinctions that govern our actions. We lay the path down by an accumulation of recurrent human practices.”
By so doing we create repeat performance after repeat performance; not seeing the truth of the moment, instead reacting to our projections from the past.
You may have thought that our attention to our use of language at Wings bordered on anal. However, shifting from describing what we don’t want to describing what we do want in a positive frame changes how we experience our world and our place in it!

5. What I give my attention to grows stronger.
When I focused my attention on what was wrong in my life…it became monumental and insurmountable. I didn’t realize that I was the one doing the focusing. I thought it was just happening to me.
When I learned that what I focused on was my choice and how I interpreted what I was focusing on was also my choice, I was blown away! When I focus on my weaknesses they increase, and when I focus on my strengths…wow…they increase.
Another way of saying this is, “What grows is what gets watered.” When I focus on being right, I keep trying to prove it. And you can imagine the results. When I focus on collaborating with a person instead of getting my way, collaboration grows in my life and relationships blossom with love and respect.

These 5 changes of mind have assisted me to stay awake and learning. I offer them to you to see if they work for you too. Let me know what you discover.
1. Moving from victim to accountable.
2. It’s about me.
3. All thoughts and emotions come from one of two sources, fear or love.
4. We do not describe the world we see, but we see the world we describe.
5. What I give my attention to grows stronger.

With love and gratitude,
Kris King

Hi! I am Kris King and I hope watching and listening to my blog is assisting you to live your extraordinary life everyday – each day – feeling fulfilled and inspired. Perhaps 10 minutes to be present with yourself and open to the possibilities of conscious living.

Today’s blog is about creating meaning in your life… everyday!

As I have been reading the news and being aware of world events, I again realize that we live in a world where instant gratification is almost held as a right of the individual or the organization, that we want what we want and we want it now! Impatient, very often angry when we don’t get what we want, perhaps even blaming others for our outcomes, and then blind to the impact we have on others.

I think the results of this short sighted thinking, of personal gain over healthy and sustainable relationships and community, is a lack of meaning in our lives, and one of the most powerful causes of depression.

Thinking about “What am I getting?” instead of “What am I contributing?”

As I reflect on this, a Gandhi quote keeps running through my mind that I want to share with you.

Take a moment to notice the impact of Gandhi’s words. What do they mean to you?

Here is a story that embodies what Gandhi’s quote means to me:

Imagine it’s a long, long time ago, in a village on the Eastern Steppes of Asia. A farming community and a busy place. A crossroads of trade…

It is a lovely Tuesday morning in early summer, and a small old man is out delivering eggs from his farm. He knocks on the door of one of his customers. She opens the door. They smile, chat for awile, he hands her the eggs she has ordered and then asks, “When would you like me to bring you eggs again?”

The woman pauses for a moment and says “Next Tuesday will be fine.” He nods, and kindly says “Til then,” and goes on his way.

On the following Monday the countryside is invaded by marauders… men on horseback wreacking havoc on the community and villagers, stealing, burning and maiming. The villagers are terrified, barricaded in their homes, hiding their valuables and protecting their livestock.

Tuesday morning, the woman and her children are hiding in their farm house, a heavy dresser pushed against the front door to stop anyone from breaking in.

She hears a knock on the door. She is petrified, signaling to her children to be still, be silent. She then peaks out through a shuttered window and sees the egg man! She pushes aside the dresser, opens the door, yanks him inside and says “Are you crazy? Don’t you know what’s going on out there?”

He calmly looks at her and says “It’s Tuesday, here are your eggs.”

When i first heard this story, I was deeply moved and astounded by the egg man’s integrity, commitment and courage. To hold his integrity so high that he would do whatever it took to fulfill his agreements.

What does it take to live life the way Gandhi and the egg man demonstrate? These are the elements I believe are necessary:

1. Having a clear vision
…Knowing what kind of person you want to be, what your deepest values are, what you stand for.
…Knowing what you love.
…Knowing what you want to create, what you are passionate about in your life.
…Knowing what you care enough about that you will risk stepping outside of your comfort zone to bring it to life.

2. Being accountable
…Realizing that if you want something, it is your job to create it, your choice, your responsibility, your actions.
…It starts with you.

3. Commitment
…At each choice point, you choose your vision again, because you will be tested.
…Haven’t you noticed that when you say you want “this”, you are tempted to do “that” instead of the thing you just said you were committed to? I truly belief that’s the universe testing our commitment.
…You don’t choose a vision once – you choose it every time you don’t want to choose it! That’s called persistence and discipline.
…You risk. Take action again and again and again.

4. Being in service
…Unconditional giving.
…Wanting to leave the world a better place than you found it.
…Using your gifts and talents to create the world you want to live in and share it with others.

5. Faith
…Believing that when all of the above are in play, your vision will come to life.
…Remembering that it is alive within you every time you choose it.

Meaning is not something that happens to us. It is something we build through our vision and our actions.

Have you wanted a stronger sense of meaning in your everyday life?

If yes, perhaps it’s time for you to whole heartedly support what you want to help bring into reality. Through your thoughts, your words and your deeds. Through your choices.

What action will you take today to create the world you want to live in?

Thank you for listening. This is Kris King asking you a very important question: What if your real job is to live an extraordinary life? That’s what WINGS is here to assist you to do.