Half Empty, Half Full? Who Decides?

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Half Empty, Half Full? Who Decides?

In the spiritual journey,
the compass unfailingly points
toward compassion.
Keep heading in the direction
that leads toward deepening your love
and care for all living beings,
including yourself.
-Paul Ferrini

Have you ever noticed that there are so many theories about how the world works, from the flat earth view to circumnavigation of the globe, from Newtonian theory to Quantum physics and chaos theory? At one time these theories were fought, then questioned, and then with the passage of time accepted as scientific truth. You’ll notice that our theories about how things work have changed. And yet one thing remains consistent in all these theories: they are based in relationship, how one thing relates to another.

Being aware of the larger scheme helps us notice similar patterns in our own daily life, how what’s happening outside is happening inside ourselves. Take a moment to think about your daily life and notice if there is a time when you are not in relationship with something. When you look closely, you’ll notice you are always in relationship to something or someone, and more importantly to yourself, though you may not be conscious of this relationship. The quality of each interaction either builds, lowers, or maintains your state of well-being and happiness.

What is it you long for in your relationships with the people you care about most? What’s missing for you? How do you feel empty? Perhaps you long to know that you are loved unconditionally, respected not only for what you do but also for who you are, understood even in those moments of confusion, valued and important to the other, and perhaps something as basic as longing to know you are attractive. What do you want that you are not getting?

When what we long for is not there, and our expectations are not met by others, we experience pain. We usually think it is about the other person. They are not doing something for us, and we are not getting what we want from the outside. “They” are creating our feelings of hurt, loss, suffering, and powerlessness!

When you think of each of the things you long for, you will see they are mostly things you want from the outside, from others. As long as we are dependent on others for our fullness, we feel powerless, caught in an endless cycle of seeking approval, and the illusion that it is about the other person.

How to make the shift from half empty to half full, from scarcity to abundance?

When we stop and take ownership, we become aware that the quality of our experience is based solely on our interpretation of what’s going on. Moment to moment, each of us is creating our own reality, our feelings, thoughts, and wants through our beliefs, assumptions, and interpretations of our world. Add in our fear of not getting what we want and we feel “half empty” or completely empty very quickly.
The first and most powerful step toward fullness is accepting that you are the source of your life experience—all of it. And this is the great news, because when I am the source of something, I can change it. If you are the source of my sadness, I have to wait for you to change before my life improves. Taking ownership is a step we take again and again because we have been taught to think that we are at the effect of others.

The second step is unconditional self-acceptance, appreciating all aspects of yourself instead of
constantly judging. You know how to accept others, now it is your turn to accept yourself. Remember, a weakness is just a strength overused!

Wings’ mission is to inspire and support positive change, creating an abundant, loving, and respectful world community. We are committed to providing you, your family, friends, co-workers, and anyone who will listen, with an inspiring and safe environment to enrich your life by noticing how you relate to what is already there, and opening to what is possible.

Imagine what it would be like if, where you are fearful in your relationships, you begin to trust yourself. This one change in your perception will transform your life.

Instead of half full, why not go for it all!

Reflections:

1. What is it you long for in your relationships with the people you care about most? What’s missing for you? How do you feel empty?

2. Who have you been most dependent on for acceptance and approval? What have you done in that relationship to get approval?

3. What have you wanted others to acknowledge and love about you?

4. What will it take for you to give yourself the approval you long for, to accept your own magnificence?

With love and gratitude,
Kris King

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One Response to “Half Empty, Half Full? Who Decides?”

  1. Rebecca J. Dimond (Becky) says:

    Thank you for this gift of wisdom, Kris !!! I really needed this. rjd