As I move about in the world observing and listening to what people are talking about these days, I am once again amazed by the power of beliefs and the difference of the impact between beliefs that are love based and beliefs that are fear based. It seems the media is committed to making sure you know how bad things are…over and over again. With repetition people start believing it is true. How about you?

Today I want to remind you of your strength, resourcefulness, courage, the power of your choice and your ability to learn and grow. I believe in you.

Remember all the fearful messages about what would happen when we shifted to the new millennium? We were told computers would shut down, no electricity, there would be riots and break-ins because alarms wouldn’t work, we would be vulnerable to attack and there would be no food on the shelves in markets, just to name a few. What happened…nothing. And yet millions of people wasted precious moments anticipating that something bad would happen which made it real for them until the clock ticked to 12:00 a.m., 2000.

What is the difference that makes the difference?

The work at Wings has rocked my world again and again in a powerful, positive and profound way. When I changed my mind, I changed my world is how I describe this transformation. I want to share five of the most significant shifts in consciousness that have helped me practice staying awake, being resourceful and proactive. My hope is, they will support you in remembering how powerful you are in each moment to create the world you want to live in…now.

Important reminder: These patterns are not about resisting your fear or anybody else’s…because resistance breeds more resistance. Pretending you are not afraid just makes that little voice in your head yell louder! Rather, these beliefs or presuppositions are actually based in acceptance that fear is a choice and there are other options that serve you better.

Another important piece of information…Remember when you were told that the brain doesn’t change? That you are born with a certain number of brain cells and the only thing you could do is kill them by using alcohol and drugs? Well, welcome to the world of research and discovery. Our brain structure changes responding to new thinking, feeling and experience. Neuroplasticity is a new field of science that explores this. Here is a quote that describes what happens.

“According to the theory of neuroplasticity, thinking, learning, and acting actually change both the brain’s physical structure, or anatomy, and functional organization, or physiology from top to bottom. Neuroscientists are presently engaged in a reconciliation of critical period studies demonstrating the immutability of the brain after development with the new findings on neuroplasticity which reveal the mutability of both structural and functional aspects. A substantial paradigm shift is now under way: Canadian psychiatrist Norman Doidge has in fact stated that neuroplasticity is “one of the most extraordinary discoveries of the twentieth century.”
from Wikipedia

So I am not kidding when I said, When I changed my mind, I changed my world!

Five significant shifts in consciousness that assist me to stay awake.

1. Moving from victim to accountable.
When I came into the Personal Effectiveness Seminar I believed that I was doing everything I could to make my marriage, family and life work, and I was working very hard. I was resentful with a capital R! I blamed my husband for my feelings of dissatisfaction and loneliness. I was certain he was the main reason our marriage was not working. I wanted him to change so my life would get better. I realized with some horror during PES that I saw myself as the victim of my husband.
I will always remember the freedom I felt the moment I realized that my choices were my own, that my choices had gotten me right where I was and because they were all mine…I could change them! I was the one I had been waiting for all this time. I could choose based on what I wanted instead of pleasing others. In taking ownership of my choices, being accountable, I became thoughtful about my deepest values and how to live them moment to moment. Light bulbs were going off with great regularity illuminating how much of myself I had given away by being dependent on others and seeking approval by saying “Yes” when I wanted to say “No.”
Becoming accountable means the end of blame and fault finding. It means the beginning of, I believe, the most profound spiritual path.

2. It’s about me.
Learning that whatever is going on inside of me in any given moment, feelings, thoughts, desires and actions, are about me was and still is profound and again freeing.
I am the one who decides what things mean to me and how I respond to that meaning is my creation. My assumptions, interpretations, judgments and beliefs are all made up by me and I was acting as if I was right about it all. So that’s where my loneliness, emptiness, and resentment came from…my own belief system.
What I am thinking and feeling in any moment is my greatest teacher, because they reveal my belief system. Instead of reacting unconsciously, now I can ask myself, “What am I thinking right now that is causing me to feel or act this way? If it is happening inside of me, it is about me. If it’s happening inside of you, it’s about you. This is the end of “You make me…”

3. All thoughts and emotions come from one of two sources fear or love.
When I first read this statement in A Course in Miracles, I sat there knowing I was staring at the truth. It made complete sense to me.
Fear is the thought that resists, contracts, reacts, tightens, shuts down, grasps, dominates, attacks, makes wrong and blames. Love is the thought that accepts, expands, relaxes, engages, collaborates, learns, accepts and is accountable. Fear says, “This is the way it is.” Love says, “There are other ways of looking at this…let’s look together.”
Using this premise I can locate where I am in any moment. If I am tightening up, I ask myself, “What am I afraid of?” and then I explore my interpretations of what’s going on. With that insight I can make a choice that serves me better.

4. We do not describe the world we see, but we see the world we describe.

(from Synchronicity: the Path of Leadership by Joseph Jaworski)

Say this to yourself a few times.
Now this gets really interesting and is based on quantum thought. Here is the power of language and beliefs:
“Our language and our nervous system combine to constantly construct our environment. We can only see what we talk about, because we are speaking blind, beyond language.
Language is like another set of eyes and hands for the nervous system, through which we coordinate actions with others. We exist in language. It is by languaging and recurrent actions or human practices that we create meaning together…and when we describe it, we create distinctions that govern our actions. We lay the path down by an accumulation of recurrent human practices.”
By so doing we create repeat performance after repeat performance; not seeing the truth of the moment, instead reacting to our projections from the past.
You may have thought that our attention to our use of language at Wings bordered on anal. However, shifting from describing what we don’t want to describing what we do want in a positive frame changes how we experience our world and our place in it!

5. What I give my attention to grows stronger.
When I focused my attention on what was wrong in my life…it became monumental and insurmountable. I didn’t realize that I was the one doing the focusing. I thought it was just happening to me.
When I learned that what I focused on was my choice and how I interpreted what I was focusing on was also my choice, I was blown away! When I focus on my weaknesses they increase, and when I focus on my strengths…wow…they increase.
Another way of saying this is, “What grows is what gets watered.” When I focus on being right, I keep trying to prove it. And you can imagine the results. When I focus on collaborating with a person instead of getting my way, collaboration grows in my life and relationships blossom with love and respect.

These 5 changes of mind have assisted me to stay awake and learning. I offer them to you to see if they work for you too. Let me know what you discover.
1. Moving from victim to accountable.
2. It’s about me.
3. All thoughts and emotions come from one of two sources, fear or love.
4. We do not describe the world we see, but we see the world we describe.
5. What I give my attention to grows stronger.

With love and gratitude,
Kris King

Hi! I am Kris King and I hope watching and listening to my blog is assisting you to live your extraordinary life everyday – each day – feeling fulfilled and inspired. Perhaps 10 minutes to be present with yourself and open to the possibilities of conscious living.

Today’s blog is about creating meaning in your life… everyday!

As I have been reading the news and being aware of world events, I again realize that we live in a world where instant gratification is almost held as a right of the individual or the organization, that we want what we want and we want it now! Impatient, very often angry when we don’t get what we want, perhaps even blaming others for our outcomes, and then blind to the impact we have on others.

I think the results of this short sighted thinking, of personal gain over healthy and sustainable relationships and community, is a lack of meaning in our lives, and one of the most powerful causes of depression.

Thinking about “What am I getting?” instead of “What am I contributing?”

As I reflect on this, a Gandhi quote keeps running through my mind that I want to share with you.

Take a moment to notice the impact of Gandhi’s words. What do they mean to you?

Here is a story that embodies what Gandhi’s quote means to me:

Imagine it’s a long, long time ago, in a village on the Eastern Steppes of Asia. A farming community and a busy place. A crossroads of trade…

It is a lovely Tuesday morning in early summer, and a small old man is out delivering eggs from his farm. He knocks on the door of one of his customers. She opens the door. They smile, chat for awile, he hands her the eggs she has ordered and then asks, “When would you like me to bring you eggs again?”

The woman pauses for a moment and says “Next Tuesday will be fine.” He nods, and kindly says “Til then,” and goes on his way.

On the following Monday the countryside is invaded by marauders… men on horseback wreacking havoc on the community and villagers, stealing, burning and maiming. The villagers are terrified, barricaded in their homes, hiding their valuables and protecting their livestock.

Tuesday morning, the woman and her children are hiding in their farm house, a heavy dresser pushed against the front door to stop anyone from breaking in.

She hears a knock on the door. She is petrified, signaling to her children to be still, be silent. She then peaks out through a shuttered window and sees the egg man! She pushes aside the dresser, opens the door, yanks him inside and says “Are you crazy? Don’t you know what’s going on out there?”

He calmly looks at her and says “It’s Tuesday, here are your eggs.”

When i first heard this story, I was deeply moved and astounded by the egg man’s integrity, commitment and courage. To hold his integrity so high that he would do whatever it took to fulfill his agreements.

What does it take to live life the way Gandhi and the egg man demonstrate? These are the elements I believe are necessary:

1. Having a clear vision
…Knowing what kind of person you want to be, what your deepest values are, what you stand for.
…Knowing what you love.
…Knowing what you want to create, what you are passionate about in your life.
…Knowing what you care enough about that you will risk stepping outside of your comfort zone to bring it to life.

2. Being accountable
…Realizing that if you want something, it is your job to create it, your choice, your responsibility, your actions.
…It starts with you.

3. Commitment
…At each choice point, you choose your vision again, because you will be tested.
…Haven’t you noticed that when you say you want “this”, you are tempted to do “that” instead of the thing you just said you were committed to? I truly belief that’s the universe testing our commitment.
…You don’t choose a vision once – you choose it every time you don’t want to choose it! That’s called persistence and discipline.
…You risk. Take action again and again and again.

4. Being in service
…Unconditional giving.
…Wanting to leave the world a better place than you found it.
…Using your gifts and talents to create the world you want to live in and share it with others.

5. Faith
…Believing that when all of the above are in play, your vision will come to life.
…Remembering that it is alive within you every time you choose it.

Meaning is not something that happens to us. It is something we build through our vision and our actions.

Have you wanted a stronger sense of meaning in your everyday life?

If yes, perhaps it’s time for you to whole heartedly support what you want to help bring into reality. Through your thoughts, your words and your deeds. Through your choices.

What action will you take today to create the world you want to live in?

Thank you for listening. This is Kris King asking you a very important question: What if your real job is to live an extraordinary life? That’s what WINGS is here to assist you to do.

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Well, Hi! I’m Kris King and I’d like to welcome you to my blog. If you’ve come before, welcome back. If you’ve not been here before, welcome for the first time and I hope you come back many times.

The purpose of my blog is to connect with people in a profound way. Such a way that we’re touched, connected, and we’ve learned something together. I’m a walker, and this morning I was out walking and thinking about doing this blog today, and part of me was really nervous, and I was kind of thinking “what am I doing this for?” And I looked back at my past blog entries (which are really excellent, and I hope you look at them), but as I looked back at them, I realized that I was doing what I thought I should do instead of what I really wanted to do.

When I realized this out on my walk, I burst out laughing, because here I am, a teacher, who for the last 25 years has been teaching people to live what they know and trust and love; what they really want to do instead of what they have to do. So I kind of tickled myself this morning, and realized that what I wanted to talk with you about today is something really important to me, and is on my mind right now.

Sunday is my birthday. I turn 67 on May 9th, and I am profoundly grateful for that fact. Because, when I was 36, I had breast cancer, and my life was a mess and I didn’t know how to get out of it. So I took care of myself, I got well physically, and three years later I did the seminars that we offer, and they changed my life. I truly belief that I’m alive today and healthy and happy doing what I love to do because of what I’ve learned here at WINGS.

I’m grateful. So, today I want to talk about gratitude. Mother’s day is coming, too, we have lot’s of things colliding that are about gratitude, grace, thankfulness, maybe some forgiveness, too, around your mom (I know I had some of that to do when I was cleaning up my past). So I’m going to ask you to take a nice deep breath with me right now, so that you and I connect in breath. Do you know that the word conspire simply means ‘to breathe together’? So take a nice deep breath – and just take a moment to begin thinking about all the things in your life you’re grateful for. The things you have, not the things you don’t. The things that are right there present in your everyday life that you’re thankful for. And as you think about those, I’ll share some of mine with you.

Number one, I’m grateful that I’m talking with you right now. There’s an invisible web stretching out from my office right here in Eugene, Oregon to Japan and Germany and Russia, and I think that’s pretty amazing. So I’m thankful that I can connect with you, someone I might have never met, in a way that’s meaningful.

Another thing I’m grateful for is that when I was a kid, I felt safe in my world. I grew up in Miami, Florida when it was all tall pines and wide open spaces, and from the earliest remembering, I could go outside and be free. Free in the citrus orchards, free in the coral rock fences that people built. Free to do whatever I wanted to do in the physical world. I’m grateful for that. I remember sitting in a kumquat tree when I was about five, and eating so many kumquats I got sick. I could do what I wanted, and my mom trusted that I was safe in that world.

I’m grateful for the love of my family, my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother, and the moments that we shared growing up, and now. That I could sit with my mom when she was in her last moments of her life. I feel so grateful for that, to be present with her in that passing. I feel grateful for the love of my husband and my sons. I feel grateful that my son Matthew was in my life for 21 years; I’m sad that he’s not here now, and I’m grateful for the time that we had together.

I am so grateful to be present on this sunny day in Eugene, Oregon, where I can see the trees and the birds. The natural world has always been an inspiration to me.
I’m grateful to every participant that has come to WINGS Seminars and learned how to change their lives in a positive way, trusting what we do, trusting themselves, opening their mind to a bigger vision of who they are and what they’re capable of.
So take a moment again and breathe. Notice how you’re feeling right now as I talk to you, and the thoughts that are coming to your mind as you think about what you’re grateful for.

My list is long, and I know yours is, too. So, one of the things I’m really grateful for is my memory. Turning 67, I have so many people saying they’re having “senior moments.” I say, “Please don’t say that. Trust your memory.” So I’m thankful for that.

I’m really thankful that I’m a really good story teller. That when I have experiences in my life, that I can translate those to people in a way that they feel connected with their own stories, as well as with mine.

I think one of the things I’m really great at in my life and grateful for, is being present – right here, right now, in this moment, no matter what’s going on. And that didn’t used to be true. That didn’t used to true at all. I was reactive, defensive – I had no clue about my own power, my own presence, the impact I have on people. And I’m so thankful that in these years of learning and teaching and traveling the world, that I’ve learned to be present in the moment, appreciating the smallest things, appreciating the grandest things – whatever it is in the moment – without reservation, without judgement. To simply stop and be present. I am so grateful for that.

You may be a very busy person and you may take a lot of pride in that, and what I know is when I’m busy, for the most part I feel pretty disconnected from what’s around me. I feel important and like I’m getting a lot of stuff done, and yet… when I look back over a day that’s spent that way, I realize there was something missing, and that something was me. I wasn’t really there. I was on a mission to accomplish, which is good, but what I know is when I accomplish things and I’m present in the moment, then I enjoy it. Then I revel in it. Then I can laugh at myself and my outcome.

So how do we be grateful for everything in our life, instead of just the things that we think are the correct things to have in our life? How do we be grateful for a moment of pain, a moment of insecurity? How do we feel grateful in the moment when we hear bad news from the doctor? Well, that’s a great moment, again, to breathe and realize how precious our lives our, and that we have this moment to experience, and it’s the first time, perhaps the only time we’ll have that moment.

So gratitude is embracing the now – the now of life – and in that, realizing how precious our lives are, that we have a now. I used to think that I was one of those pieces in a big puzzle, and it didn’t really matter that I was here. But now I realize it really matters to me that I’m here, and that I be the woman that I know I want to be.

So my offering to you today is to breathe, be present, and look around for the things you’re grateful for. And when you come up against one that you go “err – not today. I am not grateful for that,” to stop, and breathe, and notice what you can be grateful for in that very thing that you just wanted to deny, to push away, because it’s a part of life just as much as you are.

Breathing together. Conspiring.

So I’ll leave you with this thought:
What if your real job is to live an extraordinary life?

This is Kris King – see you next time.

Note: This is part one of a two part video- part two is here.

What difference would it make if we consciously lived our life as an adventure? If we embraced the exploration of life’s unknown territory with the same enthusiasm we experience when traveling to a new country or exploring a new culture?

In the comments section of part two, I encourage you to finish this sentence: “An adventure that I want to take and haven’t is…” After you have completed the sentence, write “I choose to do it.”

How do you feel when you read what you have written?

With love and gratitude,
Kris King

Note: This is part two of a two part video- part one is here

What difference would it make if we consciously lived our life as an adventure? If we embraced the exploration of life’s unknown territory with the same enthusiasm we experience when traveling to a new country or exploring a new culture?

In the comments section, I encourage you to finish this sentence: “An adventure that I want to take and haven’t is…” After you have completed the sentence, write “I choose to do it.”

How do you feel when you read what you have written?

With love and gratitude,
Kris King

And now for something completely different! In this blog post Sherrie Frank, the VP of Wings interviews Kris in a Q & A style. Sherrie asks Kris questions about her  life before Wings, what she’s learning right now and her thoughts about the future.

Keep the conversation going! Have you ever had a moment where you thought, “Gosh, I wish I could ask Kris how to handle this or how to do this differently.”? Over the next few months we’ll gather your questions and put together another Q & A post, this time answering your questions. Send an email with your interview questions to: kris@wings-seminars.com

Did you ever feel confused about what you want? Do you sometimes think you don’t really know yourself and what brings you satisfaction and joy? Please join me as we explore together knowing how to know what you want.

With love and gratitude,
Kris

Symbolically this is a time of year when people look back and notice and celebrate what they have created and look forward to what they want to create in this new year of their lives, regeneration and refocus.

Come explore with me the difference that makes the difference in turning Resolutions into Reality.

I love hearing from you! What are you daring to dream in 2010? Let’s fill my blog with our dreams, hopes and wishes for the coming year. We can look into the archive next year and celebrate our courage to dream!

So here we go… watch Resolutions Into Reality now and check out my dreams for 2010 in the reply section.

With love and gratitude,
Kris

Welcome to my blog and thanks for tuning in!

This offering is part one of two segments (part two is here) which are excerpts from a Special Evening I presented on October 27th. The theme was Daily Practices to Inspire and Renew Your Spirit.

I hope you enjoy the content and that it helps you nourish your spirit through the holidays.

With love and gratitude,
Kris King

Welcome to my blog and thanks for tuning in!

This offering is part two of two segments (part one is here) which are excerpts from a Special Evening I presented on October 27th. The theme was Daily Practices to Inspire and Renew Your Spirit.

I hope you enjoy the content and that it helps you nourish your spirit through the holidays.

With love and gratitude,
Kris King